Gabriel's Second Angelversary

Today was officially Gabe's second angelversary. Two years since we last held our baby boy and said our goodbyes. What a rough day. I can celebrate his birthdays even though they are very bittersweet. But how do I deal with the day I let me son die. Pretty badly as you can probably tell from this post. I think I dealt with it better last year. I thought it was supposed to get easier, but right now it seems to be getting much harder. I'm hoping that it's just the day, and after it passes I will start to feel a little better. I think that it's in part my faith. These last two years my faith has been shaky at best. I want to believe that Gabe is in heaven with all the other babies, watching over us, but I find it hard to understand what reason he was taken from me. I am praying for guidance, and signs from Gabe. I really need one right now.

I wanted to take a moment to thank all of my friends. I have received an amazing amount of messages from everywhere. Reading all the love and support have really gotten me through the day. Your words of love and prayers touch my heart and know that even if I don't respond to everything, it means the world to me.

I am off to go to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day.