Happy Birthday Gabe

Happy Birthday to my little man. Three years....has it really been three years? These milestones always bring up the same questions; what would he look like? what would his personality be like? I miss him.... 3 years and still not a day goes by that I don't think about him.

Nate took the day off work. We started the day on a bad note, having to put my pet rat, Dumbo, to sleep. She was old and sick, and I had been putting it off for awhile. I am now done with caged animals. They don't live long enough, so I am done! I don't really have the time for them anyways.

We brought gift bags to Lawrence and Memorial Hospital. My way of giving Gabe his birthday presents. We dropped them off and met with the head NICU nurse. She seemed very interested in Project Sweet Pea, and very excited to get the bags. It's nice to know they will make a difference and be put to good use. L&M Hospital was where Ayla was born and spent her short NICU stay. It's a very nice hospital, with a great NICU, although it is much smaller than Mass General. Afterwards we visited Gabe's site and decorated his stone for the holidays. Whenever I am out shopping I always pick up little nicknacks to leave for him. I am determined for the rest of my life to make sure he has a well decorated site. One of the few things I can still do for him.

Wow, 3 years. 3 years and it still feels as raw somedays as the day he passed. I guess you never get over something like that, even though people who have never been through it seem to think you should...

I am probably going to make my blog private for awhile... I use this blog as a journal and I am afraid of being judged, or things taken the wrong way, which has kept me from blogging a lot lately. I have written quite a few entries lately and then deleted them b/c of this.... If you read this and you would like an invitation to my blog once I make it private, please either post a comment or email me at: Chefrinny@gmail.com