Today I am 35 weeks 4 days pregnant, and I think it is finally starting to catch up with me. People keep asking me "are you getting excited yet?". The weird thing is I'm not... I'm scared to death. I just want to skip the next few weeks and have a baby in my arms. I am still putting off preparing for her arrival, I'm not sure why. The nursery still sits as it has this last year-a mess. I still haven't packed my bags or found a pediatrician. I feel like this makes me a bad mom-almost like I am still preparing for the worst. It is so hard to get excited-it's all fear.
I feel her move around a lot-and it makes me so happy. She is getting so big, I treasure every kick and move. I have heard that it can be difficult to bond with your unborn baby after a loss, but thats not the case. I love Makayla more than anything. I can tell she already has personality, I know she is going to be beautiful.
Well, I have my last level 2 ultrasound on Thursday. One more final check and peek at her before she makes her big arrival. We are truly in the homestretch-almost there.
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