5 months

Well, as I look at the date today I try to accept the fact that it has been 5 months since Gabe passed. Time seems to be rolling along gathering speed as it goes faster and faster, and I am still up on the hill left behind watching it go. I really wish it would all stop for a little bit and let me catch up.

I guess overall things are getting 'better'. I have days that I actually enjoy for the most part. There are times in the day when my mind is on things other than Gabriel. I think I am starting to start life up again, although it is taking a long time and I am not really all that thrilled about it. I still have bad days, in fact a lot of bad days, but we are making plans for the future and I do have goals and ambitions once again. My next big step is to try and actually start going through Gabe's room. I am not looking forward to that, but I know it needs to be done.

I am still trying to focus some of this negative experience into good energy and am very excited about Cherubs stuff starting to come together. I am officially the Connecticut state rep, and have volunteered to be the rep for Rhode Island as well if they can't find someone. I hope to start working with that as soon as I get the information I need. It is really wonderful the support I have received from other people I have never even met from these CDH support groups. I hope I can do that for others. There is a Cherubs get together in September that I am going to be able to attend, which I am very excited about. It will be great to be able to meet some of the people I have been talking to all these months.

Thats about all for right now. There are so many other things going on right now, so many emotions and feelings, but I can't seem to put them all into words. Still just taking one day, one minute, at a time.