Makayla's walking!

I figured it was a good time for another Makayla update :)

We had her 12 month check up yesterday (a couple weeks late) and it went very well. She weighed in at 22 lbs and 30 inches long, right around the 50-60th percentile in both. She gained 2 lbs and 1 inch since her 9 month check. They gave her shots (which always breaks my heart) and drew blood to do a few screenings which I'm waiting on the results for. They also decided to do a eye screening since Nate wears glasses and I had a lazy eye as a kid. it was difficult to keep her focused but after multiple attempts they were able to get her to do what they wanted and she passed :) All around a good appointment!

Last week Makayla started walking! She has been cruising around the furniture for awhile now, and would take 1 or 2 steps to get from one thing to another, but nothing more than that. March 5th (Nate and I's dating anniversary ;) ) I gave her her sippy cup while she was standing and she walked it over to the couch! I was so excited and she was so proud of herself. Every day she seems to gets braver. Today she was doing really good going from one end of the room to the other and back. Of course Nate and I made a big deal every time she did so she thought it was great!

Here's a little short video clip of her walking:

A small gesture...

I don't talk about Gabe as much as I used to... time goes on, and as much as I hate it-life goes on. I've accepted that, and try to go with the flow of things. Keep up with life, try not to get stuck left behind. When you lose a child you really only have two options, and somehow I found the strength to keep going. I don't even think it was strength really, more like numbness that allowed me to keep functioning until I could start to live again. Anyway, as time has gone on, I have found that I don't mention him as much as I used to. It's not that I don't think of him every minute of everyday, and I still do a lot of charity work in his memory... but I guess I just keep more of him to myself. I'm not as open to telling strangers about him when they ask how many children I have... I just don't have the energy always to deal with the awkwardness that comes after.
The other day I saw someone I knew through work who I haven't seen in almost a year. We weren't ever close, but we would occasionally have some small talk in passing. In quickly catching up with her, she asked me how Ayla was doing and if I had pictures. I took out the wallets that I carry with me and started to show them to her. As I was flipping through them, one of Gabe was in there. She knew I had a son that passed away, but not much else. When I got to Gabe's picture, I quickly flipped it to the back of the pile knowing how uncomfortable it makes a lot of people and didn't want to make her feel awkward. She reached over to the pictures and pulled it back out to look at it and started asking questions and commenting on how much Ayla looked like him, how cute he was, etc... It made me feel so good to have someone I barely knew confidently and happily acknowledge Gabe as a part of my family. I doubt she even has any idea how much that small gesture meant to me.

Updates

Wow, it's been awhile since I've posted! Life has been hectic as usual...

After Ayla's birthday I left for a mini vacation/CHERUBS get together in Indiana. I brought Ayla with me, and had a great time! I met up with 4 other CDH families and shared a lot of laughs, tears, and good times all around! I really wish we could do it more often.

Unfortunately after getting back home, Ayla got sick, passed it to me and I passed it to Nate who is still not feeling well. The last two weeks have been horrible! I can't wait for Spring to finally arrive! I just hope this is the last round of sickness in my house this winter.

Bakery update: Well...things didn't go the way I had hoped :( The bakery owner ended up having someone ready to sign the lease now, and I wasn't. Pretty much sums it up. It sucks, but I'm not giving up on opening a business soon. The whole experience has opened up some other doors, and given me a much better idea of what my next steps need to be. I will update more on this in the next week or so. The next month or so is going to be filled with meetings, appointments, classes, and a lot of work... but I will be ready next time a space opens up! I know it's going to work out, and finally feel like my dream is within reach. I've never thought I would feel so positive about loosing out on the bakery space, but I'm taking it as a learning experience and feeling pretty good about what I learned :)

That about sums it up for now. I've got a lot going on right now, but will try to update a little more often :)

Here are a couple of pics:

Indiana Get Together:
Ayla's birthday shoot:

Makayla's First Birthday

Valentines Day?

Happy Valentines Day all!

To me today wasn't about enjoying a nice night out with my hubby...oh no, it was about preparing for Ayla's birthday! And I loved every minute of it :)

This post was really just an excuse to share my pic of Ayla's birthday cake that I just finished :)



And here are some recent pics of Makayla:

Me: "Ayla, No! Don't hit the cat...."
Ayla points at the cat and gives me the look to which I know she is trying to figure out if it's worth ignoring me...

Ayla hits the cat

and laughs, giving that evil "I did something bad" look.

I'm still dreaming

Well, I can't get that bakery out of my mind. I called my mom the other night for the number to the bakery and have been staring at it for a few days. Today I finally decided to make the call. I mean it couldn't hurt to check it out... right?! I talked to the bakery owner, who seems really nice, and I am going down to take a look at it and talk to him some more Thursday morning. I'm trying so hard not to get too excited about it, because it's still a long shot. A LOT of things would have to go right for this to be a possibility, but who knows! Maybe my luck is changing and this will work out. Ahhhh dreams. I will update after I meet with the guy Thursday morning!

Sweet Dreams...

Cake is so much more than a dessert to me. It's the centerpiece at a wedding, the sweet finish after a good meal, the expression of a celebration. Cake is an edible piece of artwork. I spend hours researching new recipes, techniques, products, and ideas. Cake is more than dessert, it's my passion.

I have an opportunity that would bring me so close to my dream of opening my own cake shop I have done nothing but dream of cake these last few nights. There is a little bakery that closed down and is available to rent out. The rent is reasonable, and it's completely furnished with equipment and a store front. My mother spoke to the owner to find out how much he was asking for rent, and he wants to meet with me to show me the bakery. Unfortunately after thinking it over, I know that it is not something I can afford right now. Even though I am confident that I would be successful, realistically I can not expect to make a profit in the first year or two until I could get my reputation established... which would be ok, but with a small child in the house, I have no money to invest in this... and it's killing me! To be so close to my dream, and have to turn around and walk away... it sucks! I guess it's just not the right time, but it's hard to turn away especially because opportunities such as these do not come up on a regular basis.

Well, if nothing else, this experience has led me to come up with my cake shop name when I do finally open one up... Sweet Dreams Cakery, which for now will remain my dream.