2 months

Gabe,
My precious, perfect baby boy. Its been two months since i let you go, I miss you more than anything. I dream of you every night. My heart and arms ache and sometimes I wonder how I am supposed to make it through another day. I find a strength I did not know I had. I have found a new depth to my soul. I never new such a love existed. I obsess over your memory and I can't stop. It is so hard to keep faith during this time. I need to know you are in a better place, but its so hard to believe in anything right now. I have so much hurt, anger, guilt... The emotions are so intense and I don't know where to place them. It's all so confusing. Overall, it's such a feeling of hopelessness. I read somewhere that when you feel you are in a dark cave, remember it is always a tunnel. I guess I just can't see the light yet.